In the end, YOU are the only one who can give YOUR children a mom who loves life

Do you love the life you are living? I know yesterday was Mother’s Day, and everyone posted their happy pictures. I am sure you smiled at whatever hand-made creation your little one made for you. You likely enjoyed the day of hopefully being spoiled, but you are waking up today and realizing you are back to reality.

If this doesn’t sound like you, feel free to stop reading this now. For the rest of you, please stay with me. I know this is a hard conversation and something we don’t always say out loud, but I believe we all go through phases in our lives where we are not happy. We need to reevaluate where we are, what is important to us, and what will make us happy. Studies show the number one way to raise happy kids is to be a happy parent. With everyone trying to find their new normal through Covid 19, it may just be the time you are looking at what is important to you and your family.

As a mom of three, I know there have been times in my life where it was hard to admit I was not happy. The picture on the outside looked great, but inside my home was not a fun place. When my kids were little, I went through a phase that every day felt the same. I was a stay at home mom for many years, and I longed for social interactions with friends and conversations that challenged my brain. There were days when my temper was short, and a smile was missing from my face. More recently, I went through a period where life had turned the other direction. I was working long hours in a position where I didn’t feel I was making a difference, but it was taking all of my time and energy. I was unhappy and always working even when I was at home. My kids saw their mother miss field trips and meaningful events at school. They knew my coworkers’ names but not necessarily for the right reasons. I rarely saw my friends and dates with my husband had become nearly nonexistent. Something had to change.

I finally realized if I wanted to be the mom I wanted to be, I would need to rearrange my life. I had to do some hard work on me and answer some tough questions. We looked at our finances and figured out where we could cut back and make the budget still work as I transitioned to a new role. I also had to do some challenging work to determine what my boundaries are and find my why again.

Almost instantly, when I started making these changes, the dynamic in my home began to shift. The relationships between my children and I began to improve. Our house now has a calmer vibe. Date nights and time with my friends is back on the calendar. I went through a program to become a coach. Now I work with others who are struggling just like I was to find their why and be happy again. I also am helping businesses find clarity and solve their most challenging problems. I admit I had to have some faith to step out and take this journey, but it has been on the best decisions I could have made.

I hope your situation doesn’t look like mine. If it does, though, I want you to know you are not alone and I am here for you. Being the best version of you allows you to be the best mom, wife, friend, and so many other roles you fill to everyone else.

I am rooting for you! Everyone deserves to be happy!

Ashley